Avoiding the 10 Deadly Sins
Avoiding the 10 deadly sins
Maintaining a good healthy happy relationship
When we start a new relationship we are often bestowed by a warm vibrant glow and feel a great sense of happiness and contentment. Science has shown that after 12 months of being in a relationship, serotonin levels can tend to decrease and the sense of excitement we feel diminishes. We then enter a phase where we need to work to maintain a sense of contentment and to keep those feelings of love alive. In this article, we discuss the 10 deadly sins, the areas we need to work on to prevent an early breakdown in our relationship with our partner.
Sin #1 Not communicating
Communication with your partner is an essential element to maintaining a good relationship. We need to learn to listen and to speak our minds, and we need to practice the art of being able to understand what our partner is really trying to say. Misinterpretation can lead to other problems, and when we become angry or resentful in our interpretation other issues arise. Always avoid being silent - silence can become a deadly damaging weapon in a relationship.
Sin #2 Not spending quality time together
In our busy lives, it can sometimes be difficult getting quality time together. This is why we need to make commitment and effort in making time for one another. Avoiding this is a sure way to lose closeness in a relationship. Ideally, we should spend at least an hour with our partners every day. If this is not possible then at least once a week. Do the things in this dedicated time that brought you together in the first place - laugh, play, have fun, make love, listen to music or go for a walk.
Sin #3 Poor quality sex life
Rather than quantity, we need quality in our sex life. Rather than "fast food" we need "gourmet love". There are technicians but there are also artists. Become an artist in your sex life and enjoy. Also ensure that you compromise where libido levels vary.
Sin #4 Poorly defined boundaries
While being together is the center of being in a relationship, we need to also tend to our own goals and things we like to do by ourselves. We also need to respect the goals and likes of our partners, rather than converting them to your own likes, but always make sure that you discuss and define your personal boundaries with your partner so they can be respected as well.
Sin #5 Infidelity
Being loyal to your partner is one of the most important aspects in a relationship to be honored. Being unfaithful will in most cases lead to a breakdown in the relationship, especially when infidelity becomes serial. Infidelity is all about trust and honor, and these 2 points are very much a central aspect in any relationship.
Sin #6 Dishonesty
This is an area encompassing trust, openness, loyalty and faith. We need to be firstly honest to ourselves as self delusion and a lack of self awareness can be damaging in our relationship. If something needs to be changed or adjusted in a relationship, it is important to open up and be honest and to avoid blame criticism or recrimination. It is our maturity that allows us to open up and admit when we are wrong to our partner. These qualities are important from both sides.
Sin #7 Control
No matter how much we love someone, we never own them. Love is about sharing and support, not possession and domination which are rooted in fear. While it is important not to control others, in the same way you should make sure that you are not being controlled - tell them gently to "back off".
Sin #8 Co-dependence
This is a condition where a partner of a person addicted to alcohol or drugs, or excessive gambling, loses self by focusing on the behavior of the person engaged in self-destructive behavior. As a co-dependent you must remember – you did not cause it, you can not control it, you can not cure it. Be honest about your own bad habits and if you are on the receiving end refuse to accept blame that does not belong to you.
Sin #9 Not putting your partner first
In a relationship, it is essential that you give your partner your unconditional support. You may not agree with everything they do, but a sure killer of passion and love happens when you allow hobbies, family, friends and ex-partners to take up time and energy that rightfully belongs to your partner. Keep your private life private and everyone else out on the periphery.
Sin #10 Nagging, Criticizing and Judging
No one likes to be criticized and if its coming from your spouse it can become demoralizing, especially if it continues relentlessly. Whether you are at the wrong end of this behavior or whether you are receiving it, the best method for stopping this habit is to be assertively honest.
A Commitment Contract
A commitment contract can be used by some couples to maintain a healthy relationship. Vikki a close friend of mine says "Ray and I created this together as like a commitment ring contract back in 2008. We stick to it like glue. Sometimes the glue has come unstuck on occasions but it is always great to have to this to refer back to when things go awry. "
Her contract can be read by clicking here. Print a copy for yourself and post it in your bedroom, your office or your ensuite and refer to it often.
Feng Shui Remedies to Improve Relationships
Locate the marriage sector in your home using the chart shown here (it is in the South West sector of your home). Ensure this sector is kept tidy. The feng shui element of the Southwest bagua area is Earth, so the cures you will bring into your home have to be either of the Earth element, or the element that nourishes it. Ensure earth elements are in your decor in this sector.
Examine the following Feng Shui remedies for improving your marriage sector or your relationship;
- Mandarin Ducks (one of my personal favorites!)
- Jade Double Happiness Hanging For Marriage Luck
- Golden Dragon Statue
- Seal of Venus
- Lotus Flower Necklace
- Flower Essence Remedy Wedding Bush